Never Smell the Inside of a Hat



18 responses to “Never Smell the Inside of a Hat”

  1. These days, fortune cookies almost always contain non-fortunes. Instead, they contain little feel-good statements about how you are nice person, or truisms about friendship and family. You’ll never see truly spooky predictions like “You will be hit by a car this Thursday!” or dark warnings like “Don’t eat the soup tonight!”

    This fortune is the first I’ve ever seen that actually comes close to offering useful and slightly mysterious advice. Still, there’s nothing particularly mystical about it, which is a major disappointment.

    Why is it that fortune cookies don’t contain fortunes? Is it because they’re afraid of scaring the superstitious? Offending the religious? I don’t get it.

  2. This just made me spit out coffee all over my desk! Thanks for the Monday morning jolt!

  3. Oh man, oh man, smelly hat oh smellllly hat.

  4. nobbywebfoot Avatar

    This is not mine but I think that it is a rule which should be more widely observed:

    “Never poke mad people with pointy sticks”

  5. Alexia Avatar

    The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

  6. I live in Naples, FL and got the same fortune this past week. My family and I had quite a laugh over it. Is this a Chinese truism that doesn’t translate literally?

  7. I live in central Florida and got the same fortune last week as well. The one I got before that was “You are going to have some new clothes.” ????????

  8. I live in Orlando, FL, and I have the hat fortune too. I’ve saved it for about a year. Another I received is “If you are still hungry, eat another fortune cookie”

  9. when i was 6, i remember getting one that said “you are going to be a good lawyer.” my parents were pretty happy about it, but i wanted to be an actress…

  10. I got the same fortune and lucky numbers today. I googled it thinking it might be some ancient Chinese secret, but really I just think they are warning us about the odors that dwell within headwear.

  11. I bought a couple of the new MLB caps today to replace my old smelly ones, came home and ordered chinese food, and got this as my fortune. What are the chances of that?

    Kind of freaked me out, but it’s interesting to know that others got this fortune too.

  12. I got this forture and numbers too.

    What was on the back of yours? Mine was:
    Learn Chinese – Fish

  13. Alice Avatar

    I just got that fortune last night (and yes, Learn Chinese – Fish Yu was on the back.)

    The profundity struck me, and I shared it with my family, one of whom found this site!

    The joys of philosophy!

  14. awesome…. hilarious. i’ve gotten stupid fortunes too- one was “you will be turned into a fish and eaten by a whale if you eat that sushi!” i personally like stupid fortunes better than those mystical ones. next time you see one of those fortune telling machines try it…. those can get really stupid too. reading that made my day… thanks!

  15. Elfinugget Avatar

    I was googling pictures of fortune cookies (am thinking of making a collage of fortunes)…. and I found your page.

    This is a riot.

    My mother used to regularly eat with her boyfriend at a little Chinese restaurant in Columbus, OH…. she got the following fortune “too many times”:

    “you are doomed to be happy in wedlock”

    We chuckled the first time, laughed the second time, and just got spooked the next 7-8 times she got it. None of the rest of us ever got that fortune – we all got the same 5-6 fortunes over and over, sure, but never with such consistency. We started to wonder if they’d separated it into a special box just for her. 😉

  16. Jamie Awesome Avatar
    Jamie Awesome

    Good lord. I’ve gotten this exact same fortune.

  17. cooleytooley Avatar

    I got this same fortune, everything the same even the back of it, about 7 or 8 years ago. Ive kept it in my wallet ever since cuz when I tell people about the most interesting fortune cookie I ever got, they never believe me! It still cracks me up to this day!

  18. redwinemom Avatar

    I also got this fortune about 2 years ago. I have saved it on my kitchen wall since then.
    Another good saying: “Don’t poke that skunk” (originally from an old Polish grandmother).